Hey, it’s Molly from alcohol minimalist. What do you do in this October? I would love to have you join me in my more sober October challenge. What do I mean by more sober October, it simply means that we’re going to add in more alcohol free days than you currently been doing, whether that’s one or two or 31. It’s up to you, you get to set your own goal and that’s why it’s more sober October. You can check it out and learn more at get got sunnyside.co/molly It’s totally free. I’ve got prizes, I’m going to be going live every week to announce the prize winners. And it’s just going to be an awesome event. So I would love to have you join me. You can learn more at get.sunnyside.co/molly and you can get registered today. Welcome to the alcohol minimalist podcast. I’m your host Molly watts. If you want to change your drinking habits and create a peaceful relationship with alcohol, you’re in the right place. This podcast explores the strategies I use to overcome a lifetime of family alcohol abuse, more than 30 years of anxiety and worry about my own drinking, and what felt like an unbreakable daily drinking habit. Becoming an alcohol minimalist means removing excess alcohol from your life. So it doesn’t remove you from life. It means being able to take alcohol or leave it without feeling deprived. It means to live peacefully, being able to enjoy a glass of wine without feeling guilty and without needing to finish the bottle. With Science on our side will shatter your past patterns and eliminate your excuses. Changing your relationship with alcohol is possible. I’m here to help you do it. Let’s start now. Well, hello and welcome or welcome back to the alcohol minimalist podcast with me your host Molly Watts coming to you from Well, it’s been a little rainy, a little sunny, a little thunder booming. A little bit of everything around here this last few days in Oregon, we are coming into the change of seasons, right. And as we approach the fall, things are cooling down a bit. But I see on my weather horizon this week, some beautiful high 70s days that that are really the perfect time here in Oregon. And I always look forward to this early fall season. So hey, welcome. Welcome back. Welcome back to me, I have been doing some traveling this summer, I’ve been spending time with family and I’ve been enjoying a little bit of a break in terms of only recording introductions for my summer content series. I teased last week that I wasn’t really supposed to do another summer content series this week. But I decided that I was going to, but this one’s a little bit different. And I’ll get to that in a second. But first I have a prize winner. That’s right, I have a prize winner. I think I’ve gotten forgot to do it a couple of times this or maybe during my summer content series. But I am back and we are we are here for the prize winners. If you want to be entered into a drawing for some alcohol, minimalist swag, all you got to do is leave a review of the podcast or of my book breaking the bottle legacy wherever you listen to podcasts wherever you read the book, and I will find you and add you into the big prize random growing prize generator. And you could be our next winner. This week’s winner is e a sharp, E A sharp pretty sure I know who this is. And on this review says Molly is very positive and encouraging her knowledge and experience are just what I needed to continue changing my relationship with wine. So thank you EA Sharp Thank you for listening, highly recommend it says and appreciate your positive review. You can just email me Molly at Molly watts.com. Let me know that you are indeed my prize winner and I will send you out some alcohol and most swag. And PS if you’re one of my prize winners who maybe I haven’t gotten around to mailing this last couple of few weeks. I promise I’m getting them in the mail this week. 100% I apologize for that. So like I said we are back it is the first week of September. We’re just coming out of Labor Day weekend. And for the kids it’s back to school time. And you know as a as much as I love summer. I love the warm weather. You all know that I have to tell you that maybe it’s because I I am the daughter of an educator. Every time, the back to school time rolls around every year, I get so energized during the beginning of September. The first day of school is something that is still a little bittersweet for me, not only because I don’t have kids that are going to school anymore in my house, but it actually plays into this week’s episode, which, as I said, is kind of a special end of summer end of the summer content series shared episode. And the reason that the first day of school is a little bittersweet beyond not having my own kids going off to school anymore is that one of the things my dad loved doing, after he retired was coming up to our house, on the first day of school to take pictures with my kids with his grandsons. Every year, they’d stand back to back to see how much they’ve grown since the last September, he teased them, especially as they grew. And he inevitably shrunk a bit, until they all eventually of course, surpassed him. And those pictures on our doorstep bring me such a joy. And I’ll tell you, my dad absolutely understood how to age with optimism, how to maximize his time with his family and how to create traditions. We didn’t have weekly dinners together anything like that. But he recognized childhood milestones and integrated himself into them. He showed up for games and choir concerts and school assemblies. He took the kids to ice cream, of course after that, after those those events, and he did all of this despite his age, despite having to navigate my mom’s drinking, because remember, my mom kept drinking, and she drank until she until she died at the age of 81. So this was, you know, happening as my dad continued to age to. And he kept on going with all of it. Even after she passed. He did it because he knew what mattered in his life, and in his children’s and his grandchildren’s lives. It’s also why he organized family reunions every two years and why we went and celebrated and did a family reunion this year, really to honor him even after his passing. He did those every two years for us from the 1990s until 2018 When he celebrated his 90th birthday with a big party that we that we were all a part of. And what’s the moral of the story? Why am I sharing all this? Well, yes, it is the first day of school this week, and I’m missing him. But I decided that I wanted to honor his legacy and share an episode this week from my previous podcast live happier longer, as kind of a special wrap up to this summer content series. What I talked about here on alcohol minimalist is really an extension of the work that I started back at live happier, longer and five for life. And this episode that I’m going to share with you I actually recorded it in March of 2020. It was literally the last episode I dropped before I and everybody else started talking about the pandemic. This episode was a compilation episode, I took snips from previous episodes and put them all together as the best of habits. I think back on this time and where I was in terms of having a peaceful relationship with alcohol. I had successfully changed my daily drinking habit. And I had begun to master what I now call the behavior map results cycle. But I didn’t call it that yet, of course. And my book was just beginning to take shape in an outline form. As you listen to this, I hope you can apply something that you hear to your relationship with alcohol. If you are a habit drinker, like I was simply changing the frame that you use on your drinking habit to make it simply a habit that no longer serves you, as opposed to character flaw, a disease or some sort of insurmountable weakness and then choosing to identify as someone who wants to minimize alcohol in their life. These are such important mindset shifts. And I really hope that as you listen in to this, this overall kind of talk about habits and habit formation and habits that don’t serve you listen in and apply these concepts to your drinking. I’ll be back to summarize just briefly at the end and for sure next week. I will be here again live with a new episode. So I will see you then, and enjoy hearing from me on live happier longer. This week, I am revisiting on the podcast some of our very best episodes on habits, and grabbing some of the best little nuggets of each. One of the lessons I’ve learned over the last nearly three years of building five for life, is the impact that habits have on our lives. Ultimately, it’s what you do consistently over time that defines what your life story will be. And consistency and time, those two things are major pieces of what defines a habit. Webster’s Dictionary defines habit as one subtle tendency or usual manner of behavior, and to an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary. It’s the involuntary piece that really requires our attention, we hope that we can build habits that serve us to the point that they really are nearly involuntary, involuntary or automatic. But we also have to look at habits that don’t serve us, as they may have become so automatic that we don’t notice them. So one of the very first conversations that we had about habits was episode number 23, when we introduced Darren Hardy’s book, the compound effect, I remember how I felt when I when this idea really sank in for me. So take a listen. One of the things that really struck me with it is how much one choice either their choice to eat something with sugar in it or not eat something with sugar at it every single day, right? It has a compound effect. So when you’re in the moment, you don’t think about it, you don’t you know, you think Oh, it’s just one cookie, boom, and you eat it, right? Or you say, Oh, I don’t need to eat that cookie. And it’s just one, you know, one small choice, yeah, or an extra pump of vanilla, and you’re in your latte, right? All of these things, the compound effect is basically saying that, you know, you don’t realize when you’re in the moment, these small choices, they layer on top of each other, and they compound, and you may not get the result you want in the first 30 days, you may not get the results you want in the first year. And he has a great that in this this YouTube copulation that I watched it had this great video where it’s actually like, you know, like interest, like we can understand compound interest when Yeah, it applies. But you could be making these changes every single day for six months and really not see an effect. But you have to stick with it. You have to keep making these small changes. And I know Lisa King, you know her book, tiny life changes. I’m sure she would agree with this those little but they don’t necessarily talk about the compound effect. Yeah. And how strong it is. Both negatively and positively. Yeah. So the to the back to the cookie. So if you consider a cookie, I don’t know how many calories in a cookie 100 calories? I don’t know. Just spend on the cookie. Yeah, yeah. So if you eat one cookie every day, and it has 100 calories, then for a whole year, you’ve got 365 days, right of the 36,500 Yeah, calories. 100 calories. If you cut out those 100 calories over that hits 10 pounds. Yeah, basically. Yeah. So it’s like you don’t think one cookie? Right? ID or seven cookies in a week, or 31 whatever cookies in a month. You don’t really think so much about that. And it might be like, a half pound a pound. You know, it doesn’t add up. But at the end of the year, all of a sudden you’ve got 10 pounds. Yeah, right. It’s, it’s the truth. And that’s, that’s simply for a weight. That’s an easy one to look at as far as a weight gain. The the effects of improving your diet is just, you know, all the effects on your, your physical health is just, it’s such a big impact by making these little changes every day and improving your your dietary intake. And it does it just, you know, it’s the accumulation of all these good choices that you make. Yeah. And Darren Hardy says, the first step toward change is awareness. If you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, you have to start by becoming aware of the choices that lead you away from your desired destination. become very conscious of every choice you make today, as you so you can begin to make smarter choices moving forward. So as I said, the book, the compound effect really opened my eyes to the power of habits. Because while I’d really done research on which habits I wanted to focus on, for five for life, I didn’t thoroughly understand the process of habit building or habit breaking. After the compound effect, I realized that teaching people which habits to focus on wouldn’t really matter if they didn’t know how to build new habits. And like a lot of people, I had focused on the planning the process of the or the actions as my primary tool for building habits. So after the compound effect, I read atomic habits by James clear. And in Episode 25, we reviewed this book in depth. And one of the first parts of this book is talking about the different levels of change in how habits become more successful, by creating habits that are part of the identity of who you want to become. Listen, in. His whole process was doing the habit of writing, which then became evidence of the fact that he is a writer, he is in fact to me, right? Yeah, not like he was a writer. And then he tried to, you know, he just he, he, he became a writer by writing. And that’s the thing that he does talk about, it’s about who you become. Yeah. And about the fact that it’s really, he talks about three levels of change as it relates to habits. One is an outcome based change. And those changes are when you’re just trying to lose weight, right? That’s the outcome you want. Yeah. And those kinds of habits are not usually as successful. The process change, which means I’m going to restrict the number of calories I eat, I’m going to exercise more, it’s all about the process. And then the identity, identity based change, which is going to become healthier and healthier session, right. And it’s those identity changes, you’re who you wish to become emerges out of your habits. So he became a writer out of the habit of writing, yeah, which is pretty cool. And every action you take, he says, is a vote for who you wish to become to be. Yeah. So that’s just kind of a little bit of a background on him and where this all started. But the, the whole basis of habits and atomic habits, is that they’re small, little actions that become part of a larger system. And it’s that system that you create, and that you follow, that really dictates what you will achieve your outcome, what your results. And he says you won’t rise to the level of your goals, you will fall to the level of your systems, which I thought, you know, it’s pretty profound, really, I mean, it’s like, I mean, it’s really, it makes total sense when you think about it, right? Because you can think all day long about this lofty goal you have and how much you want to do this and how much you want to achieve. But if you actually aren’t taking those, if you take no actions, you will not achieve the goal, right. And it’s the whole compound effect. And we talked about that with our discussion on Darius Darren Hardy’s book, the compound effect. But really, he says that habits are the compound interest of self improvement. They are so that I mean, that is gold right there. I love that. Habits are the compound interest of self improvement. If you want to improve yourself, if you want to live that happier, longer life, you have to develop the habits. And that’s the one thing he’s very vocal about is a lot of these tiny habits, you don’t get the you don’t get the outcome right now, it is a long term goal. He says small changes appear to make no difference until you cross a critical threshold. And the most powerful outcomes of any compounding process are delayed. You need to be patient. Yeah. So, you know, if you, you want better results, you need to focus on that system. You don’t focus on the outcome, the goal? Yeah, it’s a bit like I think I’ve used this before it says, Life is not a destination. It’s a journey. Yeah. Right. And you have to focus on the journey. And even though, you know, we say with our five daily actions, when you move, learn, share, give let go, you’re going to feel better right away. I mean, if you’re really practicing those habits, and you’re really taking action on them every day, you are going to feel better. Yeah, but you are still working towards you know, the goal. Yeah, well, it’s live happier, longer. We want the happier to be Yeah, right. Right now, yeah, you know, but longer it means that you are happier all the time. As you’ll live longer. Right, exactly. And while I still miss Angeles Scottish accent when I listened to these, but I’ve tried and I just can’t do accents. So sorry about that no going back in that regard, we really dove deep into atomic habits and talked more about the habit loop. And the Four Laws, as James clear calls them for building good habits and their inverse laws for breaking habits that don’t serve you. So this book really is great for helping you become aware of habits, and figuring out the who you want to become for identity based changed. In episodes number 42, number 43. And number 44, we did a three part series on habits that included the science of habits and Episode 42, how to build new habits and episode 43. And how to break habits that don’t serve you in episode 44. These episodes shared both information from the compound effect and atomic habits, but they also began our conversation on how our thoughts impact our habits. In episode number 42, we distinguished between the primitive brain and our higher level executive function brain, the prefrontal cortex, here’s some of that conversation. Okay, so the brain really takes over and creates the habit for you. And it does it does it for a reason. And it’s kind of a cool, I mean, it’s really, you know, again, when you look at the evolution of our brains, it’s just an amazing, amazing thing. It does it because it wants us to to become its soul desires to be more efficient, and to be to find the easiest path with using least amount of energy. Yeah. And so then it can basically, when it when it relegates something to habit to this internal system into the lower part of our brain, that primitive brain, then it frees up our, our prefrontal cortex to be able to think about, you know, doing other things, yeah, well, deeper thoughts, and really important things like what’s for dinner, or other more important things. But, you know, the downside, though, as we mentioned, is that some of our habits are so internalized that we may not even be aware of them. And some of them that that can even include, like emotional responses that have become habits, because we learned them as children. Yeah. And they were repeated and repeated and repeated, right. And they were, and it was a part of that. And they were based on those kinds of reactions of that primitive brain. So let’s talk about that. Let’s start kind of talking about the two different we’re gonna, like I said, 10,000 foot view. We’re going to talk about the two kind of systems in terms of are the two different levels, I guess it’s more what I would like it to be the emotional brain, right? So we have more of a primitive brain, that’s our emotional brain. And then our prefrontal cortex, which is a more higher level. Yeah. And really, evolution wise, there, we call it also more primitive, because that brain has existed existed back in the days of the caveman. Yeah, and it was just survival mode. Right. And so that’s, that’s where it came from. And now, as as the brain has developed, over the last 50,000 years, you know, this, the human beings have developed a larger frontal cortex, a larger cerebrum. And that’s why we always talk about it in terms of, you know, people saying, you know, gotta use your higher level, your executive function, all of that it exists because humans have have evolved, and we’re all sitting here in houses and right, we can go to the store and buy food or put podcasts on the internet. Yeah, you know, so, but that that primitive brain was all about, you know, finding food, finding shelter, and surviving that, right, that’s not an issue we have to do with no, you know, no. And sadly, like that, that primitive brain, the limbic system is another term that people use for that primitive type emotional brain like I’m talking about. And the reason I’m making that distinction is because the most primitive part of our brain is actually the cerebellum, which is down, which is not in this area, it’s it’s located down closer to the brain stem down at the base of our brain. And that is one of the older like one of the oldest pieces of our brain. It exists even it existed even in animals prior to humans right? Before humans even existed. So that is what the people you know, making that distinction that may be the one of the most primitive parts of the brain. We’re talking more about primitive emotional Brain because, again, the brain just in higher level beings and as opposed to other mammals, right, we have more gray matter. Yeah. And our brains have evolved and the front part of our brain, which is larger now is it’s evolved there for a reason, right? Because the world’s a BB in a far more complicated place. Yeah. And but still, it’s this. This is interesting, an interesting statistic. The brain has only evolved by 10% in the past 50,000 years. Yeah. Which is? Yeah, right. It’s so we think that we are so evolved. Can you imagine what’s going to happen? 50,000 years from now? There’ll be looking back on, you know, us and thinking, Yeah, wow, they did, people did that. They did not have much going on in their brains. But according to evolutionary psychologists, most of our brain is still living back there. In the past, we have this prefrontal cortex. But you know, and we’re equipped to deal with this modern world, but 90% of us is still, like, back into the cave, you know, looking around origin for food. Yeah. You know, keeping predators out and also trying to mitigate risk and stick with things that are familiar to us safe. Yeah, safe. Exactly. And it’s why we typically dismiss things that we don’t understand very well. Right. Our brain just goes Oh, yeah, that’s that seems like it might be scary. It might be an enemy I might be safe is actually a great this. I’ll do this. This is safe, right. I love the science of the brain. But yes, I am a confirmed science cake. So hopefully you did. A just a quick break to talk with you for a minute about Sunnyside. You hear me talk about it on the show often. And it really is my number one recommendation for a mindful drinking app. People use this tool in my groups in my classes, and they tell me all the time, how much they really appreciate the fact that Sunnyside is a very positive reinforcement. And what I mean by that is that when you track your drinks, and let’s just say you planned for one drink, and you ended up having to, if you’re honest and you track that second drink, you’re not going to get a message that shames you in any way or reprimands you, you’re actually going to get positive reinforcement for tracking a drink that you didn’t plan on. And some ideas of some suggestions for going and grabbing a snack or getting some water. Sunnyside is like having a coach in your pocket. And I love that you can try it for a 15 day free trial, go to www.sunnyside.co/molly that gets started today. In Episode 43, we focused on building new habits and shared our own six C’s of habit building. Here you go. We also want to talk about what we call the six C’s of habit building. Because I think really, this is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. It’s kind of where you have to start in terms of training your brain and making the and really making the habit start there. And we’ve talked about it before. I think it’s super important. That understanding that everything that we feel everything that we do everything action and result that we get in our life starts with a thought. Yeah, and we can choose thoughts. Yeah, actually create feelings, that are the feelings that help us do the actions that we want. Likewise, we may not be realizing that we are thinking things that are in no way getting us to the result that we really want right there taking us down, you know that and sometimes those thoughts are so there’s happening so quickly in the brain, that we’re not even aware that they’re there. I mean, it’s an internal voice. And perhaps it’s a voice that we’ve kind of an internal track that we’ve had running for years and years and years. And we aren’t even aware that it’s it’s there and causing us. Yeah, so got the six habits, the 60s of habit building that we are going to talk about and really is kind of a part of our program in terms of what we’re working on the ultimate habit building system is the first one is commit. Six first first see of the 60s is commit and that means you have to commit to change. There’s another see, but on commit And that’s kind of easier said than done. But reminding yourself that the discomfort you feel is part of the process, but really committing and understanding that you have to figure out what’s in it for you. That is really your why, right? Why you’re doing it. Yeah, but you have to be committed to change. And this is the one I talked about the the resource tool that we’re going to provide. It’s, it’s a commitment sheet that helps you commit to change. Yeah. You know, and some commitment statements that you can work on for why you are wanting to change something about yourself. And really, you know, because we are creatures of habit, yeah, understanding that we need to change something either for the positive or for, you know, breaking a bad habit, or even just change to build a new habit. Yeah, exactly. It requires a commitment. So, firstly, commit, kind of what I just mentioned, our second C is choose. And that’s really, if you understand the thought, the feeling the action, the result of, you know, life, that process and what we call, you know, that’s about the self coaching model, it’s choosing the thoughts of the person that you’re becoming not from your past. Yeah. And the thoughts that somebody has, that is already where you want to be, that’s where you want to focus on. Because if you’re listening to the thought that says, Oh, I’ve tried this before, oh, doesn’t work. Yeah, I can’t do that. I can’t do this, oh, I’ve never been able to maintain my weight loss, oh, I’ve never been able to get the job that I wanted. Uh, you know, if you start to go backwards, and you’re, and look at things that way, that’s never going to help you change your your future, you have to choose the thoughts that are going to lead to the feelings that lead to the actions and the results that you’re trying to get. So, second, C is choose. The third C is what happens when you choose the right thoughts, it creates the feelings that you need to take action. So create is create the feelings Yeah, is C number three, C. So it’s all about creating feelings that help you need to take action. So you know, if I want to feel motivated, if I want to feel determined, if I want to feel energetic, then the thought, Oh, I’m super tired. Doesn’t really doesn’t help get me there. Right. So if I choose to think I’m tired, I’m not going to and maybe I am, you know, maybe I didn’t sleep that well last night. But that’s the whole point. Yeah, that I can override that thought, because it’s really a thought that I’m having. Yeah, but it’s not even that. It’s like, I’m tired. So I can’t do it. Right. But you can still be tired and see, but I will do it. Yeah. You know, and so it’s the difference between going that’s it, I can’t do it. Yeah. And making it a positive. So that because back to the whole mindset is, you know, you’re tired, that’s not going to change, right? The right now, if you’re tired, you’re tired. But it’s how you feel about that. And what thought you say, right, you know, if you you know, if I sit there and I focus on I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired. All I’m going to end up doing is feeling more tired. If I instead say, you know, if I just don’t choose to think I’m tired, and I choose to think I’m capable. I’m ready. I’m looking forward. I’m happy today about you know, I can choose where I put my focus, I can choose what I think to create the feeling that I’m looking for, that’s going to help me do the action that I want to do. Yeah, and you know, it’s all that it is. While it’s not always easy to do it is that simple. So our fourth C is collaborate. And whenever you’re trying to build a new habit, it’s always good to have a partner in crime, right? accountability partners, like minded tribe. These are people that help pick you up and keep you strong. And quite honestly, if you’re trying to do new things and build new habits, and if you’re surrounding yourself by people that are like ah, that’s, you know, there are naysayers there. Yeah. That’s just not going to be a way that helps you build a new habit. So definitely collaborate. Yeah, you know, listening to the podcast, our podcast, find people that are genuinely motivated to create new how But yeah, and are focused on building the habits of a healthier, longer life. Yeah. So the fifth See, see, number five is see for celebrate. And it’s important to recognize and to reward yourself, remind yourself that building new habits is hard work. And each time you take another step forward, it deserves some positive reinforcement for your brain. Yes. And self positive reinforcement, right? Yeah, it’s it’s small victories, our brains always seeking rewards. And as long as that celebration doesn’t conflict with whatever habit you’re trying to work on, eg you don’t want to focus, you know, if you’re focused on building a habit of exercise than taking the day off, unless you’re injured, or whatever, isn’t really a great reward. Like, yeah, you want to continue what you’re doing. But give yourself something else as a new workout outfit would be a good reward for someone that’s trying to build the habit of exercise, right? Yes, yeah. So small victories, but we need to celebrate? Because that’s, that’s another way of getting our brains to want to keep on building. Yeah. And keep going. Yeah. So sick sixth. See, see number six, in our 60s of habit building is to correct. So when you fall off track, it’s important to correct yourself just as soon as you possibly can. I believe James clear says something to the effect of, you know, missing one day is a mistake. And missing two is building the habit in the opposite direction. Yeah. So you don’t want to, to fall off track too far and not get yourself back on. But when you have fallen off track, it’s really important. Here’s a couple of more C’s to be curious and compassionate with ourselves. As we’re trying to figure out what it was that led us to falling off track. Because ultimately, as we’ve talked about, it isn’t just not doing the action. That is the result, you know, that breaks the habit, there is a thought that led to us not having the feeling that we want to go on and falling off falling off pace. So we need to be compassionate and curious with that thought. Yeah. And ultimately, give yourself a break. So things happen that for whatever reason, it can put you off track. But the important thing is that you’ve figured out why. And move on and get back onto it. Yeah. And figure out you know, really understand and be compassionate with yourself about the why understand it, don’t just gloss over it and say, oh, you know, or or go down some sort of negative self talk spiral. That said, I’m done. Yeah, right. It doesn’t work that way. So Correct. Get yourself back on track. Lastly, in Episode 44, we talked about breaking habits that don’t serve you. We gave good tips throughout all these episodes. And in this episode, I think the power of language and the affirmations is what I want you to hear or rehear, if that’s the case. So here we go. Today, we are going to be talking about I of course, don’t have any bad habits, obviously, quote unquote, bad habits. I’m gonna say that right now. We are going to talk today about how to break quote unquote, bad habits. Yeah. Or we will rename them as yes, I’m going to say that habits that don’t serve you. Yes. So I want to, and there’s a reason for that, right? Because I don’t think we should approach those, quote unquote, bad habits as bad. And the reason is, because when you call something bad, it’s pretty easy for your brain to start thinking that I’m bad. Right? Or it sounds there is if there might be something broken with you. Yeah. And then it just starts the negativity. Yeah, and the negative self talk. And here’s the truth. Just because you’re, you have a habit that doesn’t serve you you’re not bad, you’re not broken. And whatever habit is that you’d really like to break is not a reason for being you know, that’s not making you bad, right. For instance, I am not a bad person, even though I have a habit of over eating emotionally. Right. Yeah, I and it feels like what I think is the worst part about habits that don’t serve you, or things of that, like that kind of negative, destructive type of habit is that they really do. impact your self esteem about yourself. Right. And then they’re kind of a self fulfilling prophecy. You feel bad. Yeah. You do. You overeat. Yeah. And you feel bad because you move on. And yeah, so Seiko, it is and it’s a, it’s a hard cycle to work on. It’s been a hard cycle to break. It’s something I’m working on, though and continue to work on. And the reason it’s so important to teach your brain new language, about habits is because many of us, for so long have had an internal soundtrack that’s playing in our brains that we’re not even aware of. So it’s almost like subliminal advertising. We’ve just been telling ourselves the same stories for so long that we believe they’re true. Yeah, like me saying, I’m an emotional Overeater. So therefore, therefore, I didn’t eat time, right? I really, I should be sitting with a big pile of cupcakes. No, you should be because you’re the Yeah, you were me. But the you know, the fact is, is that that internal soundtrack, that internal dialogue that we we’ve heard for so long, and we’ve been telling our selves for so long, we can just as easily because every thought that we have is optional, we can choose to think something different. And we can just as easily think thoughts that will help us break those habits as we can continue to play that. That old soundtrack in our heads. Yeah. Right. So I want to say that that’s really what we’re going to work on. We are going to break habits that don’t serve us. Alright, we’re back in 2023. What do you think listening back on all of that, a lot of what I was talking about is the same things I talk about now. Right? And trust me, it was that realization for me the application of everything that I was learning, and realizing that my drinking was just a habit that wasn’t serving me. It wasn’t some big weakness or character flaw, or somehow different from other habits. And so many of us are stuck in that mindset. So many of us believe that that’s that there’s something different about alcohol than other things, and it’s just not true. I want you to look at it the same way and start applying these practices of habit change and getting committed and creating consistency. If you are still looking for opportunities to change your relationship with alcohol and just listening to the podcast is not getting you where you need to go. I really want to encourage you to check out just start it’s my 30 Day mini program that is designed to introduce these concepts at a deeper level. Just start stands for smart thinking and real tools to help you change your drinking habits, smart thinking and real tools. You can check it out at www dot Molly watts.com/start Make it a great week everyone and I will see you next time. Thank you for listening to the alcohol minimalist podcast. Take something you learned from this episode and put it into action this week. Changing your drinking habits and creating a peaceful relationship with alcohol is 100% possible. You can stop worrying Stop feeling guilty about over drinking and become someone who desires alcohol less harm join me in making peace with alcohol. It’s my six month online course and group coaching program designed to help you build sustainable change. Give me six months and I’ll help you create peace. Check it out at www dot Molly watts.com/join That’s Molly with a why and watts with an s.com/join I’m joined me today