EP #32

Transformation is Now with Elizabeth Benton

alcoholic minimalist podcast

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In Episode 32 of Breaking the Bottle Legacy, host Molly Watts engages in a meaningful conversation with Elizabeth Benton, the author of “Chasing Cupcakes.” The episode explores transformation, change, and the tools needed to create a peaceful relationship with alcohol. Molly and Elizabeth discuss key concepts from the book, including the power of personal responsibility, the role of mentors and coaches, and the impact of mindset on transformation. They delve into Rumi’s quotes, emphasizing the importance of present action and personal empowerment. Elizabeth shares insights from her foundation, the ChangeMakers Productivity and Fulfillment Journal, designed to help individuals prioritize goals and achieve fulfillment. The discussion touches on grief, resilience, and daily practices for progress. Elizabeth introduces her upcoming book, “Tools for the Trenches,” sharing its origin and purpose. Molly expresses gratitude for the conversation, highlighting the valuable mindset lessons from Elizabeth’s work, and the episode concludes with a recommendation for Elizabeth’s podcast, Primal Potential.

You’re listening to breaking the bottle legacy with Molly watts, Episode 32. Hi, I’m Molly, after a lifetime living under the influence of family alcohol abuse, spending more than 30 years worrying about alcohol and my own drinking, believing I had an unbreakable daily drinking habit, I changed my relationship with alcohol forever. If you want to change your drinking habits than breaking the bottle legacy is for you. My goal is to help you create a peaceful relationship with alcohol, past, present, and future. Each week all focus on real science and using your own brain to change your relationship with alcohol. Nothing has gone wrong, you’re not broken, you’re not sick. It’s not your genes. And creating peace is possible. I’m here to help you do it. Let’s start now. Well, hello, and welcome, or welcome back to breaking the bottle legacy with me, your host, Molly watts, coming to you from a little bit cloudy, Oregon this morning. We’ve had this cool marine layer that comes in in the morning and then burns off by midday and it’s beautiful and 85 in the afternoon. So I’m hoping that’s the way it’s turning out today. Because quite honestly, it’s Friday, and who doesn’t want a sunny afternoon on a Friday. You guys, I’m so excited today to share this interview with you. I am talking to Elizabeth Benton. And Elizabeth is an author, a coach, a podcaster. And someone who I just have mad respect for someone who has been really a big part of my journey and my transformation. Her book chasing cupcakes was something that really helped me and still helps me today just a lot in terms of mindset. And so when she said that she would come on the show to discuss just transformation and change and all the things and her book chasing cupcakes. I was so excited. She’s also about to release a second book. And that book is coming out in October, tools for the trenches, daily practices for resilience, perspective and progress, which I love, love the title. Anyway, I was so thrilled to get her on the show. So please enjoy my conversation with Elizabeth Benton. Hey, Elizabeth, thank you so much for being on breaking the bottle legacy with me, I just can’t tell you how much it means to me that you took the time. And I’m so looking forward to our conversation. Me too. Thanks for having me. So I think I I’ve said it to my my group on Facebook. And I’ve I’ve kind of put it out there. I really I have so much stuff that I wanted to talk with you about. So I’m gonna dive right in to chasing cupcakes because for me, it was a which is interesting, because this podcast is about helping people change their relationship with alcohol. Chasing cupcakes. For all of you that haven’t read it yet is a book that’s the subtitle is how a broke fat. Tell me Elizabeth don’t don’t damage it this morning. I think it’s I think it’s don’t quote me. But I think it’s how one broke fat transformed your life. And you can’t do right, exactly how what I was forgetting the one how one broke fat girl transformed your life how you can too. So it’s really not a book about losing weight, though, is it? No, no, it’s a book about creating change and really getting out of your own way. Whatever that is. That could be alcohol. It could be food, it could be fitness, it could be business, it could be relationships, it could be anything. Yeah. And that’s what I love about it. Because I, I found it from other things that I was listening to at the time. But when I read it, I was just moved by so many things inside of it. And you and I have both share a love of inspirational quotes. You share them at the beginning of every chapter in that book. And one that was really sort of the core I think in terms of for me at least or the beginning of chasing cupcakes and one that’s really resonated with me throughout my whole journey and transforming my relationship with alcohol is an it’s from Rumi and I know you love Roumier you for those of you listening your dog is named Rumi. And why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Can you tell me what you hear most from this quote? What what I hear hope I hear capability. What are you hear? I definitely feel like it’s a very hopeful quote. But I also think that it really forces me to take personal responsibility, because for a long, long time, I felt like I was a victim of my upbringing because that had a huge impact on my weight of my genetics because I believe that had an impact on my way But at the end of the day, I was the one over eating right. And it wasn’t just, I didn’t just see a lot of myself and a lot of hope and a lot of personal responsibility in this quote with regards to food, but also finances and my relationship and all of these different things. My job that was I think the first thing that hit me with that job at the time, I was working a job that I was really good at. But I really did not like it. And it stressed me out. And I had that every morning, I had a nervousness to check my email, almost a fear, because I wasn’t sure what had blown up overnight, and I just dreaded opening up my inbox. Yet, nobody was forcing me to go to that job. And I wasn’t actively applying for other jobs. And so when I read that, quote, I was like, nobody made me take this job. Nobody makes me continue to keep this job. There’s nobody that’s keeping me from seeking another job. And then the more I thought about it, the same thing was true. With with food. I’m not trapped, you know, I at the time was about 350 pounds, I was not trapped in that body, I was not trapped in a life of an overweight person, or an unhappy person or an in debt person. And while yes, I love the hopefulness of it. I also think that it really begins with realizing, at least for me that I was the one creating the situation I was in I was the one making the choices, I wanted nothing more than to lose weight and to be in a happy marriage than to be out of debt. But I was the one making choices that were keeping me from those things. Yeah, oh, I love that I because it’s really important to me, that whole message, we talk a lot about here because people I come from, I’m an adult child of an alcoholic. And so for a long time, I was trapped in the belief that I just had a stronger desire for alcohol, that it was a genetically a part of me. You know, and the whole message that you have the power to change your life is, is really can’t be understated. And you in the book, you go on to share more from Rumi, and this one, I think is ironically, you talk about it being a quote from a poem of his about being in a bar, and it’s whoever brought me here will have to take me home. Yeah. And I love that concept of self change. I love that, you know, the idea that for everyone. That is where it were truly lies. I, you know, I had a 30 plus year daily drinking habit that I that I that I overcame, that I was able to change. But I told myself for a long, long time that I wasn’t you know that I wasn’t able to do it. And it’s really important to understand. I really think that part of that journey for me was finding people finding tools, finding resources, chasing cupcakes was one for me. And I also value coaching and mentors. How how do you believe coaches and mentors can help self changers the most. I mean, I really wish that I had brought in mentors or coaches much earlier, I think it’s more commonplace. Now, it wasn’t something that I was exposed to, you know, 789 10 years ago. And in the last few years, I’ve worked with business coaches, I’ve worked with health coaches, fitness coaches. And there’s something about number one, for me wanting to perform for somebody else that’s really valuable. If I go into gym, I’m going to work out harder with my trainer right there than if I’m going to work out at home more often than not, there’s something about having another person there for accountability, but also in a really positive way trying to perform for them. And there’s a there’s a quote by a CrossFit athlete, Matt Fraser is one of the best CrossFit athletes out there. And he says that peer pressure is a really wonderful thing if you’re surrounded by the right people, right. So peer pressure can kind of go either way. But if you’re around really great people, then there is a very positive and healthy effect that can come from that. And we can see that with friends. But we can also see that with people that we pay, right. I know, for myself, I’ve struggled with adult friendships, I’ve moved around a lot, I’ve been divorced, and that changed my my social dynamic a lot as well. And I felt for a long time, like I didn’t have all of these great benefits that people have of having a great friend group. And then I realize that’s totally crap because whether I like it or not, I can pay for those positive influences in my life. I can now I can also do a lot to to build relationships and that’s something I continue to work on. But I pay for the support that I want. Whether it is with regards to business or with regards to money or with regards to relationships or fitness like that’s such an important thing. Kudos to all of those who have those relationships that are Healthy positive peer pressure in their lives naturally and without having to pay for them. But like, there’s nothing that’s more valuable than our own wellness. And whether that is financial wellness, physical wellness, emotional wellness, the notion that like we shouldn’t have to pay for that, to me is bonkers. Because if I’m willing to pay for cable television and spend, you know, $130 a month on something like that, why would I ever be reticent to invest in my own flows from that? Yeah, 100%. And I think too, especially when you’re in the process of trying to transform or change something in your life, there’s actual proof, I was just reading it recently in a book that your it helps improve and speed up those neural pathways transforming pathways when you are in a collaborative situation. And when other people are learning around you and doing the same thing. So well, it’s like, do I want to be limited to the way I think about this? Because that’s what got me where I am? Or do I want to be expanded by how other people think about it? And that is an investment. You know, so many of us invest in our our retirement funds, and things like that, but there’s really nothing that pays better than investing in yourself. Yeah, I agree. 100%. So another quote from this book. And this, again, going back to those patterns and stories that we talked about in terms of the self limiting beliefs. Here’s something you wrote, our patterns and stories, no matter how far back they go can be surrendered and rewritten. We can walk away from them at any moment, every choice can be changed, and every moment is a blank slate. So in your podcast intro, you you say transformation is now can you explain why you are so passionate about now versus today or this week? And how does that intertwine with long term goals? Well, I think for me, when I would think about something big, like trying to get a debt or losing weight, and I would look at the week ahead, I would think I don’t have time to invest in this change. I have a full time job, I work weekends, I work nights, like I’m trying to take care of my house and all these other things. And when I would think about it in that way, I would always feel like there wasn’t enough time. In fact, one of my greatest wishes at that point in my life was to be on the television show The Biggest Loser, because I felt like if I could eliminate all the other stuff from my life, my work, my home obligations, all of that. And all I had to focus on was my health, that surely I would get healthy. But when we realize that, it’s, it would only almost kind of detract from our long term success to be able to strip away everything else. Because we can’t mean sure maybe for a week or two weeks or something like that you can strip away everything else. But we we have to learn how to do this in life. And I realized these choices that I feel like I don’t have time for I’m already making, I’m already making them, I just need to make them differently. This isn’t something that takes extra time. And it’s not something that I have to forecast for. I say to myself all the time I say it to my clients all the time, every single choice is a chance, every single thing as it happens, we don’t have to have extra time, we don’t have to have extra bandwidth, we are already doing the thing. In that time as it’s already happening, we can just make a slightly different choice. And I used to psych myself out because I didn’t feel ready to make this big, sweeping grand overhaul of a change. And then I realized I don’t have to, I really believe that little hinges swing big doors and that there is a huge span between all and nothing. And I used to think that I had to choose between all or nothing on or off. And we don’t. And now I look for small degrees of improvement, tiny, tiny degrees of improvement, whether that’s in my communication with my husband, whether that’s in a food choice that I make, or an exercise choice that I make, or a financial choice that I make tiny, tiny degrees of improvement are available to us in every single moment of our day. We do not have to have extra time. And we don’t have to plan out 30 days from now 60 days from now or be able to wrap our heads around how we’re going to handle something three weeks from Friday. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That I think James clear and atomic habit says, we don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems. And it’s that that idea of just being there, you know, doing it now, not you know, because when you focus on the too far out on the on the horizon, you forget what’s going on right in front of you, and it’s those small little daily changes and I really try to talk to that too. Up to that point with people that are struggling to make changes with alcohol because the all or nothing, especially when it comes to alcohol, people get trapped into that belief that if they don’t, you know, making a small change is actually improvement. And it doesn’t have to be all or nothing, you know, and you can make every, every everyday count, when even with the notion of like falling to the levels of our systems, I would have tripped myself up saying, well, like, I don’t know what my system should be. And I don’t have a system in place. And geez, now let me go research what systems people have for stuff. And, and there’s a time and a place for that. But that wasn’t my starting point. My starting point was literally like, I’m just gonna say not right this second to a cookie. I’m not saying I’m not going to have a cookie today. I might have a cookie later. But in this moment, I don’t need a system. I don’t need a plan. I don’t need a program. I’m just gonna say in this moment, I have one more good choice and me. And it’s not never and it’s not No, it’s just not right this second. And so those small, every single moment gives us an opportunity to choose an improvement, not choose perfection, not choose the ultimate goal. Just choose something that is a degree improved. Yeah. Oh, I love that. So I’m going to quote again, from the book, I’m going to read this because this, to me is something that really I guess, and you know, for all of you that haven’t picked up chasing cupcakes, you’re going to want to right after this, because I think you’ll love this. This book is a tool that will help you win hard moments. It will help you change unconscious patterns and see the truth in the lies, especially the well intended ones. You tell yourself. It’s a companion to help you overcome resistance and create success. You won’t be fighting against yourself, but rather working with yourself, creating an operating system of being militant militant. militantly on your side, it will serve as a guide to the joyful pursuit of your best self instead of a battle against your worst self. You will create change through evolution, not revolution. Mm hmm. Huh. Look, aren’t you You’re good, aren’t you? Well, it’s so funny feels like a million years ago that I mean, it so much has happened since when I wrote, sometimes it’s just nice to like, hear it. Because I love that notion that it’s, it’s evolution, evolution happens. So slowly, you almost don’t even notice, right. But so many of us are attracted to the like sexy all in revolution, I’m gonna wake up today change. And I used to say that to myself, I’ve had enough sugar to last my whole life, I’m done with it. I’m never doing it again. And then I’d be like, but I, but I really want some ice cream. You know, I really want to Margarita evolution, small improvements, the small thing does make a difference, and it is worth it. And the best part of it is, it’s way more manageable. It’s not about how perfect your plan is. It’s how committed you are to the small things that are so small, you can easily dismiss them. Yeah, and I think you just were talking about I talk about a plan. And with alcohol, there’s there’s some reasons for why and using your course, you know, logical decision making brain ahead of time instead of your impulsive brain. But another kind of thing that is sort of implied that you just said is, is what’s going to happen when you fall off plan. You know what I mean? How are you going to deal with it when the challenges come? Or when you don’t? When you don’t stick to the plan? Are you going to use that as evidence that it’s not working? Are you going to keep going and try to keep figuring it out? Right? So one of the biggest tools you use in the book, and I hear you talk about all the time on the podcast is questions and learning to ask better questions. How does asking questions help people most? And what are some of the favorite of your favorite questions that you ask yourself? Without questions, we just go on autopilot, right? Because we our brains are built to be efficient. And so so much happens without our conscious intervention. This is why people say like, I didn’t think about it until after I did it. It’s almost like I wasn’t even I wasn’t even consciously choosing Ay, ay. How do I create that pause between making a decision and being an action? Because it seems to happen so fast that I don’t think about it until after? And that is because our thoughts on the conscious level on a subconscious level. They’re really based on how we’ve always thought about things right? So it was so easy for me to say I’ll start tomorrow, this one thing won’t hurt. All of those things where were my default setting. And in order to expand your options, and operate outside of the default. The easiest way to do that is by asking questions, and sometimes it’s just as simple as you ask me some of my favorite questions. One of them is what else This is true. Right? What else is true? Last night, I really wanted ice cream. It had been a crazy day I had a headache, I was exhausted I have, I have a new baby at home. And I really wanted ice cream. And I was like, You know what? I’ve eaten so well all day I worked out the babies upstairs, I never get a minute by myself, I couldn’t eat ice cream normally if I wanted to, because I don’t have two hands for it. And in that moment, I said, what else is true? Because all of the things I just said are very true. And that’s that’s where a lot of people struggle, the intention. And you read it a few minutes ago, when you were reading from the book that was well intended lies we tell ourselves, we very much mean it when we say I’ll start tomorrow, or this one thing won’t hurt. We very much mean it. It’s true. But it’s not the only truth. So when I say what else is true, I know that I’m going to feel so much better when I wake up in the morning, if I don’t have the ice cream, right? That I’ll wake up in the next morning. And I think really wasn’t worth it. I really didn’t need it. And I’ve had that experience so many times, that that’s also true. What else is true is that when I have ice cream, I want it to be something special. Like I want to go out to my favorite ice cream place and have that really great thing, not the pint in the freezer that I’ve had a million times. And it’s really not that worth it. So one of the questions that I asked myself as a way of expanding beyond the default pattern is, what else is true, right? I use this all the time with my husband when he aggravates me when there’s just tension in the room. And I’m thinking seriously, I’m up here. And you know, I’ve been struggling to get the baby to sleep for an hour and you’re sitting down there watching TV, what else is true? What else is true is that if I asked him to come help, he would absolutely come help. And I haven’t asked him for help. And so he might not think that I want it or need it. And it just expands beyond the default. It opens up to logic, it bends up to creativity. So in chasing cupcakes, there’s, I don’t know, 200 and some odd questions, I think. But one of the ones that I use most is what else is true. I love that. And you know, one of the reasons I love it so much. And I say this, I say this to my kids all the time is I it took me a long time I honestly, you know, I jokingly say it but I’ve been a lifelong No at all. And so my brain loves to think that everything that that I that it throws out is absolutely true. You know, it’s like it’s the gospel truth, because I thought it like I believe that what I thought is so true. And for those of you that are really that are educated and knowledgeable and you love information, you’re you’re probably like me, you tend to think whatever comes through that brain of yours is the gospel truth. What else is true? Ask yourself, what else could be true? And that’s a very opening, an opening phrase and an opening question for me. Yeah, I talk on this podcast about the result cycle, which is the basic idea that our thoughts create our feelings, and our feelings dictate our actions, which equals the results we have in our lives, hence the results like and I used to use alcohol to try to change how I was feeling and didn’t really understand that I had the power to change how I felt by changing my own thoughts. Can you talk to me about how I mean I’m sure in your journey of this, too, you kind of figured out that you were probably using other things food except for sure to try to cope right and dissolve the negative emotion. How do you act? Yeah. How do you deal with negative emotions? One of the things that helps me so much, especially in the last year, you and I have talked about this a little bit, you know, when we were emailing back and forth, in early 2020, right at the exact same week as the COVID shutdown started. Our our first child died very suddenly, and unexpectedly. And that opened up what has been the hardest period of my life. And I’ve been through some hard things before. And one of the things that I remind myself of a lot is that it’s a focus before it’s a feeling. And you know, just to give an example, like there are some people who really shocked me in the way that they responded to the death of my daughter or really didn’t respond. And I can catch myself feeling so angry. And I’ll ask myself, What am I focused on right now? And I’m focused on what they did or didn’t do, how could they? What I would have done differently, what I wish they would have done, and it is the focus on that offense as I perceive it, that creates the feeling of anger. If I choose a different focus, I will experience a different feeling. So in those moments where I’m focused on somebody who really hurt me in the way that they responded to the death of our daughter, if I want to feel differently, I choose a different focus So maybe I’ll focus on somebody who really showed up, I’ll focus on somebody who exceeded my expectations, somebody who has been incredibly supportive and with a different focus, you have a different feeling. And the same thing is true. In smaller examples, when I’m focused on, I really, really, really want ice cream, I feel that temptation for ice cream, but if I change the focus, I change the feeling, if I change the focus to you know what I’m gonna get in a 10 minute workout before bed, and I am going to sleep so much better. And I’m gonna feel more proud of myself in the morning. And like, that’s really the kind of person I want to be like, I don’t want to be the heavy sloth sitting on the couch eating a pint of ice cream. You know, like, that’s just not the mom I want to be that’s not the human I want to be. So when I focus on who or how I want to be or what I can do differently, I have a totally different feeling. It’s a focus before it’s a feeling if you want to change the feeling change the focus. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you for sharing that about Diagne. I want to talk a little bit more about her foundation and going into the changemakers journal here in just a second. But something you you hit on there is so important. The the idea that when you focus on the thought that it creates the feeling of motivation, I know for a lot of my life, like I sat around waiting for the feeling to be there. Not and kind of lived my life like I was at the effect of my feelings. Yep. And didn’t really understand that I could generate those feelings. purposefully. Yeah. And we’re in control of that. It’s not something that happens to us. It’s something that we generate. Yeah. And it’s so it’s been I mean, that that one thing I talk about that in my book, it’s like that one concept. And I’m, I kind of like, want to, like stand on on top of the mountain top and scream to everybody, because we don’t like we’re not really taught it in school. We’re not really taught it as we go through iterations of life. And it took me till midlife and glad you are much earlier than me that you know, to really understand that concept. Because once you realize that you truly can generate, you can figure it out, you can create the feelings. It’s not the circumstances in our lives that dictate how we feel. It’s how we think about them. Why focus on that makes a difference. Yep. So again, appreciate you sharing the story of Gagne. And I know that her loss really impacted your perspective on life, it impacted your perspective on business and how you are honoring her life. Can you talk to me about how the change makers journal came to be through through 2020? Yeah, leading up to 2020. I would say for a few years before that, I felt like I was in such a groove with what I’ll call work life balance, which I think is more appropriately responding to work life in balance. But also with with productivity, and I just felt like I was very focused. And I had great follow through. And even when I wasn’t motivated, because I’m often not, I was very consistent in action. I knew what my priorities were, and I trusted myself to take action every day, like I just had that discipline. And after gagne died, I didn’t. And you know, for a few months, that that was fine. And that was normal, and that it was accepted. But after a while, I had to get back into work. And I you know, and I had had a C section with her. So I had to get back into like movement and fitness and all of those things that I you know, taking a break from after my C section. And I really wondered if I had lost my drive. You know, like, am I gonna go back to the version of me that was 350 pounds, watching six hours of TV at night and overeating like me, have I lost with the loss of my daughter have I lost that driven me? Have I lost that discipline. And it kind of freaked me out. On the one hand, I knew that I had created big change before. And I knew that was possible for me. But I also was like, Oh God, I really don’t want to have to, like rebuild this, you know, nothing. And so I started to create some sort of like templates for scheduling my day. Productivity achievement, but also fulfillment like it was a phase where I didn’t want to enjoy time with my husband because I was just like, really deep in grief. And but I knew that I had to live and try to prioritize connection and things outside of productivity. So I started creating these templates for myself and you know, one wouldn’t work. So I’d say Well, let’s try this and let’s try this and it was really kind of a discovery time to find how to get back to drive and get back to it. Investing in my own life. And I came upon a template that like, really, really worked for me. And I thought, Oh, thank God, I now feel like I can trust myself to do things and to get things done. So I ended up sharing the template with a few people on my team. And they were like, Oh, my gosh, this is amazing. Like, you need to share this with everybody, this would be so helpful. And so we put it together. And it is what we now call the change makers productivity and fulfillment journal, it’s a 30 day. It’s, it helps with task management, but it also helps with goal achievement and life investments, sort of balancing that notion of productivity with the importance of fulfillment. And yeah, it really helped me through a very, very, very challenging time. Yeah, it’s wonderful. I got it, folks. And it’s just exactly what you settles. But I love the fact that it helps you prioritize both just things to do that you need to you know, that you’re trying to get done, but also forces you to focus on some of your bigger, more, those long term goals and the ideas of fulfillment in your life. And I think somebody you know, especially when you’re, you’re working on changing something, and really tackling that you can, you can lose sight, and you can kind of forget about those background goals. And so this, it allows you into the opportunity to just keep track of everything that you’re you’re wanting to do. So we can agree that you’ve been a pretty busy lady. March of 2020. Definitely in terms of processing grief, and doing things differently in your business, creating the change makers journal, having another baby. Welcome, baby Roman. Who’s now what, just two months? 10 weeks old? 11? Yeah, yeah. 10 weeks. And all along the while you were writing a second book? Yeah, I didn’t see that coming. So can you share with us I know that you just shared on your Instagram stories. I was saying it to you before we started. So I’m gonna even can I say the title? Yeah, absolutely. So tools for the trenches, daily practices for resilience, perspective and progress. So tell me, this book is coming out in October? How does this expand or break away from chasing cupcakes? Yeah, I didn’t, I knew that I had multiple books in me. And I thought book number two is going to be to something very, very different. And it’ll still it’ll still happen. But this ended up being book number two out of out of almost necessity. So after Dagny died, I want to say it was just a couple weeks later, I started writing myself little messages. Sometimes it was just a sentence, sometimes it was a paragraph to help me use some of the tools that I had had, and applied to debt and weight and business, too. Get through these brutal days after the death of our daughter, just to get to things like motivating myself to, to go for a walk to have a healthy meal, sometimes to work for 30 minutes when I really didn’t want to. And after a few weeks of of coaching myself through this and reminding myself of these tools that I had, and they took on a new meaning. As they worked through feelings and frustrations and changes in my business with COVID. I thought you know what, like, I want to share these and I I have really wrestled with whether or not the I should release this book. Because I feel like five years from now I look back in a very different point in time in my healing, and go, Well, that was raw, like, yikes, you know, I think that it would be a very different book. If I wrote it in five years. However, the tools that I could portray five years from now, might not be accessible. When you’re in the darkness of the trench, whether that is you lost your job, you’re struggling in a relationship you’re struggling with alcohol with weight loss or or something significant, like not that those things aren’t significant, but something like really huge, like the death of a child or a loved one. I decided that these very accessible tools in the darkness. I wrote this in the darkest days of my life. They’re very important and maybe even more important than the five year look back. And how that would be like I wonder if I had written chasing cupcakes while I was losing weight. It would have been a very different book, but I think it would have been very important luck, that would have served people in a very different way than the five year look back. So I decided that, you know, surely five years from now, it would look very different. And maybe I’ll write that book too. But I just decided that there are very few things written while you’re in the darkness, trying to find your way out. And it feels very vulnerable to put this out into the world. Because parts of this book were written just two weeks after gagne died. And all of it was written, while I was well known, not all of it, but most of it was written, while I was pregnant with my second child, and the fear and anxiety that went with that, but I’m just trusting that, like, it’s going to be what many people need, yeah, having been a fan of so much of your work, I’m sure that it is going to be extremely valuable for people and I can certainly appreciate the vulnerability and putting that out there. But I believe absolutely with 100% conviction that it is going to serve people because that rawness is what makes it you know, makes you are so accessible and so authentic. And that is an important part of listening to folks and learning from them, especially in so much value value in their authentic journey. Right. And so I think that, I know that it will be extremely helpful. I’m so excited to, to read it when it is here. Thank you. So I could spend hours talking to you and I would be you know, reticent in my promises to you. So I won’t, but the chasing cupcakes, folks, I go back to it again and again, for mindset lessons. I am absolutely confident that the next book, tools for the trenches, daily practices for resilience, perspective, and progress is going to be equally compelling and equally valuable in terms of mindset, and listening. I especially want to recommend Elizabeth podcast primal potential. i It’s one of my go twos for just continually upgrading your mindset. And I know that that’s something that’s really important to you too. Right, Elizabeth daily upgrades. Oh, yeah, I need them as much as anybody else. Yeah. So last thing before you go, tell me what excites you most about the future? Hmm. For me, right now. It’s building our family. You know, we, my husband, and I just had this shared conviction in the weeks after gagne died that we wanted a very large family, which we’d never really thought that we wanted before. And we were excited to have Roman just a couple months ago. And yeah, I think just the future for our family is what excites me the most. Yeah, well, as a mother of four. I am definitely in for the big family. So I wish you nothing but all the best and good luck and hope for that as well. Thank you, Elizabeth. I will share all of the links for connecting with you in the show notes, folks. So primal potential.com is probably the easiest place to find information on Elizabeth. And I know she’s fantastic for connecting on Instagram and responding to direct messages. So if you want to follow her there at Elizabeth Fenton. Elizabeth, thank you so much for taking the time and I just appreciate it and wish you all the best in the next in the next book and with baby Roman as well. Thanks so much for letting me share today. All right. Thank you for listening to breaking the bottle legacy. This podcast is dedicated to helping you change your drinking habits and to create a peaceful relationship with alcohol. Take something that you learned in today’s episode and apply it to your life this week. Transformation is possible. You have the power to change your relationship with alcohol. Now, for more information, please visit me at www dot Molly watts.com